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Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes. To turn on reply notifications, click here. The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. Like a science experiement. I'm really just advocating the texture more than anything -- which, upon rereading this sentence, is somehow even more gross. Use My Facebook Avatar. I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. Our gent simply keeps a special lidded jar to hand, that he fills up gradually over time. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator. According to Marin, some people find that they just can't stop. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. Losing a few swimmers prompts the creation of new sperm with decreased instances of DNA damage and increased motility. Don't make me do this again. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. Maybe your beanbag chair sprung a leak and has an appropriately-sized orifice barfing beans in your room.

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A good jack-off falls somewhere between agony and prayer. There is a problem in the way we talk about self-pleasure. Self-care is often.

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meh, ill take a predictable discharge upon orgasm over randomly bleeding out of my genitals one week a month.

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Description: The existential sadness of anyone claiming that a disembodied rubber vag-sleeve is better than having sex with another person is something no Cracked columnist can dare take on without some serious alcohol to fuel the poetic ennui that will follow. I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis. I'm just sharing information. Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. So in a way, technology has indeed changed the way you jerk off -- and maybe even made it feel better, or at least different. Link Existing Cracked Account. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator. If you're not picking up what I'm putting down yet, allow me to elucidate. Implying that ejaculating into a porn mag, sullying your most prized possession and ruining it forever for everybody else, was commonplace enough to be a running gag. You could share them with mates. If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole.
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